Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes

No matter how much I try to hang on to status quo, it never works. And it drives me crazy. Just when I think I'm cruising along, making progress, all is well, God throws a wrench in my plans. I feel like I got a major wrench recently. This past month, we have had four deaths in our family. And honestly, I don't know what to say about all of it other than I am very sad. That's about all I can say right now. I know the whole "circle of life" mumbo jumbo but honestly right now, I am too raw to care. I like my loved ones right here, with me. Selfish, definitely. Honest, yeah. Some changes just don't feel like they're for the good. After the latest news came, I felt like I wanted to become a hermit and just hold my boys in my arms forever so that I wouldn't miss a moment of their lives just incase I'm taken before I'm old and grey. It makes my stomach turn to think about. I am going to stop now... I feel tears a'wellin.
Going to go kiss my babies... Goodnight.